Over the past three weeks, I have experienced rough day after another. Don’t get me wrong I can’t begin to put into words how grateful I am for all the blessings God has given me big or small. Writing this, I can literally feel the heaviness and exhaustion in my body. I have punked my body into thinking that if I don’t say the word fatigue out loud, the feeling won’t consume me. This so far has been the busiest year of my life, not even school days compare to this. That was clearly child’s play. Adulting is real.
I have been juggling a demanding role, school, a start up and writing a book. I know there is going to be superhumans who read this and add roles like wife, mother, head of a small group etc. but for now this has been my portion. Sum all that up and add the fear of failure. It got so bad at some point that I started picturing the end of this year and this was not even February😂. I want to be good at everything I do, I think that’s something a lot of us deal with. There are definitely more interesting days when there are pending tasks from work, several chapters to read, customer orders pending, blogs to write, a book to write and then add that a 1-2 hour traffic packed journey to Mukono and dishes to wash between 9:30 and 10:30pm😅. I have defaulted on the dish duty on several days and ended up regretting it each time because mum always catches me. Its not fair to the person who does all the work, they are tired too( I am sorry, I apologize). What is the point of this “rant” you might ask?
To whom much is given much is expected. We joke about this statement a lot but it has never made more sense than it is right now. I don’t want to fall into that category of people who expect success to fall out of the sky, how ever success looks like in my mind. This in no way means that I should not work smart, I am a sucker for working smart(High key I can't wait for the day I start earning money in my sleep). Let's reel it back from the digressing; what are some of the things I have learnt over the past couple of months? God gives us tasks and trials that are bigger than us so that we can be reminded of our source. I know half the time I don’t know what I’m doing at work and that does not mean I’m wasting my employer’s time and money but simply, there are days when only God can get me through the day in one piece and without losing it and saying something inappropriate to a colleague. I don’t wanna have to burn bridges so through these tough days, here is what I have learnt and hope you'll pick a leaf from;
1. Definitely trust God and know for sure that He who began the good work in you will see it to it's accomplishment.
2. Remind Him of His promises. The word says, cast your burdens unto Him and He’ll take care of you. And one of my favorites, Count it pure joy my brothers and sisters when you go through trials of many kinds for the testing of your faith produces perseverance. If you are doing something that aligns with Will Of God and you meet challenges, relax, give it your best shot and watch Him show up and show out for ya. He always does!
3. Be kind to yourself and your body. It's okay to decide not to touch anything on a Saturday or Sunday and just rest or do a few things. Be tender to yourself and your body, it’s the only one you get.
4. Celebrate the small victories. Friend, these will keep you afloat. It does not matter if you have not signed off on the big business deal you hoped to close, if the best thing that happens to you that day is your workmate giving you a piece of their glorious pizza, smile, God loves you. That is evident in Him sending someone to break bread with you, He has not forsaken you.
5. Prioritize your work and attack each task starting with the most important. I have never gone wrong with To-Do lists or even a personal weekly schedule. Think of yourself as a company and then departmentalize yourself. Works every time.
6. Remove the focus from your worries or perceived failures at the moment because trust me they will be there. I have had quite a few and in the moment the feeling is horrible but I don’t have time to dwell in the failure too long. The Bible says a righteous man might fall seven times but always gets back. Now I know the context is quite different but I’m sure you get what I’m going for. Instead of complaining to God about what’s not working, pick the phone and call a friend and ask them how you may pray with them today. There is joy unexplainable in this. Trust me
7. This is what most of us do when we are weary, tired and failing- Complain to God. Switch out the complaints and replace them with gratitude and rawness. For example. A prayer that goes like, "Lord, you are the King of Kings, the Almighty God who was and is to come, You know all things and you are the author of my life. Thank you for all the gifts you constantly shower me with on a daily(mention them all). The raw part, God I feel discouraged, tired, fatigued, overwhelmed and weary. Sometimes I can feel myself drowning in the depths of my own thoughts but you have created me for a purpose Jer 29:11 and in your image which tells me that I am victor because you are victorious, A winner because you always win, I am royalty because you my father are a King. Every time I fail or I’m grumpy, those around me look at me as your child and reflect that on you. I don’t want to be ashamed or kicked down by life, show me the path and show out for me. Help me win like I should. I don’t accept failure, I am a head not a tail. I am your child, take care of me because me as me, I will fail over and over without your power but with your Mighty power, I am taking the world by storm." P/s as you pray, make sure your intentions are right.
8. Lastly and most importantly, celebrate others’ wins while you are in your “failing” period. I am not going to say much here but jealousy, envy and pettiness are not a good look on anyone. So fix your face and attitude and be genuinely happy for your neighbor who is killing it right now because you know you are gonna kill too any time now. Have a winning attitude.
9. I am writing this because I know that whatever level I get to, there will be trials and burdensome days so this is a reminder that I have been through some tough days that I thought were going to break me and they didn’t. Therefore, whatever comes ahead will have to bow to the King’s daughter because He parts the sea so I don’t have to drown and He is ready to do that for you too!!
Until next time....stay fighting! Love y'all