Adulting & Friendships II

   By  
Lynn Amanyire
   .   
  May. 27, 2022

Continuation....

Admiration. The Bible says Jonathan hearing about David’s Victory over Goliath was impressed and developed an admiration for him. Yeah there is no way to sugar coat this, you either admire something about your friend(s) or not. Human beings are drawn to greatness.

This is why if you search for athletes on Instagram or other platforms, you’ll see that they have millions of followers. I’m not saying your friend has to be an athlete but there has to be a pull effect you have towards them. Something that gives you the desire to be their friend. It could be their positive outlook on life, work ethic, financial discipline, wealth, kindness, spirituality, cooking skills, business savviness, and so much more.

Bottom line is, it is not possible for us to be genuine friends with people we have zero admiration for. Well at least from my experience. Honestly, I don’t want to find out what it’s like to be friends with someone I don’t admire so let’s not assume I am interested in the other side of this equation.

Photo Credit: Me

 

Your friends open doors for you. Yeah! This is why this phrase is so common, “I have friends in high places.” Jonathan made David, a young shepherd boy feel at home in a palace not just with words but with resources. He gave him access to royal robes, armour, sword, belt and bow. He did not just make him feel at home, he gave him something he didn’t have.

He helped him become what God had called him to be, Royalty. All these things turned him into the soldier and leader Israel needed. So my question for you my reader is do you know who your friends have been called to become and how are you helping them get there? Have you made it clear to them what your direction in life is? Have they given you access to your “royal robes, sword and bow”?

Now you might think to yourself oh of course Jonathan had something to offer David, he was a prince. But let’s face it, individually we interchange the roles of David and Jonathan every day in our lives and our mantle is to recognize where we can pitch in and actually help the other person to become great. 


Great Advice. In our world today, there is a lot of people- pleasing and conformity. People pleasing is when you accept to do something you’re uncomfortable with and is against your values or moral conduct so that you can make others feel comfortable.

Conformity is a close buddy of people pleasing. You do something because it is socially acceptable and “that’s what everyone is doing” so that you don’t seem left out aka FOMO. I don’t want to mention examples because we all know what those things are and a real friend should be able to call you out on your BS.

Explicitly tell you that you are wrong without mincing words or going behind your back to talk about your mistakes after keeping quiet about them in your presence. They should be able to give you their unpopular opinion.

Now of course there are exceptions when people are wrong but you should be able to prove that by measuring the advice given against the Word of God or someone trustworthy and preferably older (a mentor if possible). Lastly, your friend should not feel like they have to tiptoe around you when they give you advice. Quit being too sensitive and accept constructive criticism.

Celebrating our friends’ victories. Jonathan celebrated David’s victory. I forgot to mention but when you read Jonathan and David’s story in its entirety, you’ll find out that Jonathan knew that David had been chosen by God to be next King over Israel instead of himself (the heir in line to the throne) or his Dad- King Saul.

Yeah, look around in your friendship circle and point to the friends who would genuinely, happily and actively allow you to gain higher rank over them but also whole heartedly celebrate your victories with letting jealous get in the way or their own family for that matter. If you have friends like Jonathan, man! Praise God. If you don’t at all, maybe it’s time to start reconsidering?

Jonathan was never in competition with David over anything including the throne which symbolized power and Glory. Watch your friends when you get the things they have been praying for before them and that should give all the information you need.

Credit: Google


Protection. Jonathan protected David from his father – Saul. I think this can be portrayed in different ways today really. First would be, does your friend protect you when you are not around? Do people feel comfortable saying inappropriate things about you in your friend’s presence? Does your friend tell you when something bad is about to befall you?

Do they provide a way out for you to escape calamity? (Calamity can be the bad decisions you make relationally, financially, spiritually or physically.)  Or they want to be among the spectators when things go wrong?

Sometimes protection looks like not calling your friend passed 9PM when you know she or he is married and that is family time. Sometimes it looks like telling them they cannot spend 70% of their productive work time on social media and assume their boss is going to be happy about unfinished reports. Yeah, great friendships are like that.


Deep love and concern. True friendships are centered on love. Jonathan and David had such a deep love for each other, you’d think they were brothers. You do to others what you’d love them to do unto you. Luke 6:31. And I know this is something we struggle with but like everything else, it can be worked on day by day. When you fail just like I have, apologize and commit to doing better with action not just words.

There are so many other things I could share about what I believe genuine friendships should look like but this is what I depict from Jonathan and David’s story. Share your thoughts as well from this story or others. In conclusion, not everyone can be the kind of friend Jonathan was to David but I pray that you find your “Jonathan” or “David”.

It’s very important that you do, your destiny depends on it. One thing I have learnt lately is when God decides to bless you, He blesses you through people and guess what?!
When the enemy wants to destroy, he will use people too. Be careful who you let inside your heart, life and inner circle. Remember you are the sum of your 5 closest friends. 

Till next, bask in the abundance of Love. XOXO

 

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