​​​​​Don’t we all love to talk about it? I know someone is going to say no, well, let me speak for myself. I do love to talk about it.  I'm pretty sure you have had a conversation about sex too before. My perception of sex has not always been what it is now, which is the Biblical context. Sex within covenant. I am so grateful for this realization. Like I said my mindset was not always like this.

Let’s reel it back a little bit. I didn't have so many comprehensive conversations about sex growing up. All I knew was that I was not supposed to indulge mainly because the Bible said so. And then, there were other scary outcomes like unwanted pregnancies and of course the mother of it, all Sexually Transmitted Diseases like HIV/AIDS. I can’t lie I was exposed to a lot of sexual things growing up. That’s a whole other story for another day but due to the reasons I have mentioned above, I decided to wait.

However, this wait was not entirely pure, my intentions for waiting were not particularly biblically aligned. So in the relationships I got involved in, everything else would happen during these encounters except the actual deed. Let me put it plainly, when I started dating the only thing that was keeping me from sex was the fact that I was a virgin and I did not know what to expect.

I don’t know what kind of dumb resistance I was building up to or rather the slow and steady fall. So, when I decided to go all the way, I did for all the wrong reasons. I was finally out of school so even if I got pregnant, it would not be so terrible. I was with the person I thought could “cover” me and also from the time I started dating, my intention was always to marry the person I gave a chance to. Even though I did not state my end goal upfront, very dumb. This was my first major sex mistake. We can talk standards another day.

As a little girl, I got to see the very best of what great companionship could do to two souls, my grandparents. I truly and unapologetically grew up wanting that. I wanted it with every dating choice I made. However, I never really understood what such a life long companionship entailed.
I was not fully educated about it let alone the pros and cons of sex from a biblical standpoint. All I knew was it was wrong, just like telling lies, stealing etc. And my body craved it. 

So, I started having sex and boy oh boy was it everything I imagined it would and so much more. I mean what else did I expect, God created it and everything He created is good or might I add magnificent. Amidst the heated passion, an inkling of guilt started to build inside of me and that was when things started to go south or rather interesting.

I was not using this gift the way it was intended to be used. I was putting a created thing ahead of the Creator! The intention for sex according to the bible is to create a spiritual, physical and emotional bond between a married couple, procreate and of course for enjoyment and pleasure duhh??!!!

Side Note: Let’s not pretend like Christian couples are out here having the most boring sex. Yes of course there are cases, but there are always exceptions. I’m going to be in that exception percentage so help me God. Drink some water and click the like button if you are the exception! Eyyyyy!!!

Anyway, here I was outside the covenant and just abundantly getting my freak on and sometimes calling God’s name during heated sessions and absolutely never allowing myself a moment to let the Spirit of God convict me fully.  Did I say I used to call His name sometimes? Oh well! The conviction was definitely always there but I would create so much noise within me to avoid hearing the voice of God regarding that. And I think He let me get the taste of my shortcoming…pun intended. This might sound like I'm proud of my mistakes, I am not. I have repented and I have no time or energy to self condemn.