J- Cole one of my favorite rappers says this in “Crooked Smile,”
Love yourself, girl, or nobody will
Though you a woman I don't know how you deal
With all the pressure to look impressive and go out in heels
I feel for you
Killing yourself to find a man that'll kill for you
You wake up, put makeup on
Stare in the mirror but it's clear that you can't face what's wrong
No need to fix what God already put his paint brush on
Your roommate yelling, "Why you gotta take so long?"
What it's like to have a crooked smile.
My writing might seem to be leaning more on the female side but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In my world, the only way an individual (male or female) gets past their insecurities and flaws is if they focus on who God has intrinsically created them to be.
Having said that, I know a few or many of us have struggled with being confident either growing up or even now as adults and here is a message I heard and thought I should share for anyone out there who might need it.
Being Confident is not about having no flaws at all. It’s owning those flaws.
Because what you own, no one can use against you. (Even though some people will try)
Your weaknesses become your strengths.
At some point, you have to get out of that comfort zone and take a risk because that is how you will fight off self-doubt. You will be surprised at your own capabilities. Don’t be afraid to fail because you are not your failures, you are who God says you are and God continuously goes off about His love for us and how perfect He thinks we are.
So, whatever you do, things that you are proud of and the things you are not proud of … OWN it!
In your lowest moments, cleanse and affirm yourself as often as you can.
‘I am beautiful, I love who I am, I am a good person, I am talented, I am enough, I have the ability to do great things and I will work hard at it, I am going to reach my goals, I am worthy of respect and I deserve the best of the best. I am not perfect but I am WHOLE and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’.
Why the affirmations? because what you speak into your life will surely come to pass and when you make a mistake, strive to rectify it but amidst that take it easy on yourself because GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES. Forgive yourself as often as God does. We can tend to be our own biggest and worst critics but let’s learn to be kinder to ourselves.
Replace the thought of inadequacy with the positive things that you know, for example: I Lynn Amanyire have a weird hairline but I have beautiful hair, I think I do get distracted easily but when I focus, the results are great. I am an awkward public speaker but I love to connect with people and I have the potential to be great at it. I don’t know the answers to all of life’s questions but I know God has a plan for me and it is a damn great one, I tend to procrastinate at times but when I follow through, I feel accomplished. Replace every negative thing you have ever said about yourself with God’s thoughts of who you are (Scripture) or something positive depending on your personal beliefs.
Forgive yourself more, accept the things you don’t like and work towards changing that every day. Keep friendships and relationships that encourage you to be happy. Be willing to let go of habits and situations that don’t allow you to flourish.
Your confidence will show on the outside and you won’t have to prove anything to anyone. Your aura proves it for you. You don’t have to feel your best all the time but love and be proud of who you are regardless of how you feel because feelings are temporary.
Whatever you do, especially when it comes to personal development, WORK HARD at it and watch your life take a better direction and if someone has dared to lie to you about your abilities, I am here to tell you, you can do anything you put your mind to and you deserve every ounce of success and victory coming to you.